Thinly Spread

     Anyone who knows me knows thats the case. A heart parceled out, divided, sharecropped and checker-boarded leaves a muddled composition. Very rarely do I bring it out show it around and offer it to someone. We fear our battered hearts like abandoned houses...Someone might love us, but we're a fixer upper. Maybe if we took some stock in Blondie and agreed we had a heart of glass and acknowledge its been broken and reassembled, tested by fire. Fire changes things mosaics and stained glass are some of the most beautiful things to behold. Flaws are beautiful normal glass is clear.
      We all go through cycles sometimes your hot and everyone wants other times your cold and nothing goes right. You just have to own it all. The ups and downs of life and keep smiling. The people that stick with you and adore you despite the mess are the best. The people that acknowledge you for your talents and seek you out as much as you seek them are your friends and often your loves. Theres chasing and being chased. Theres hope abounding there's life to be had.  Theres gonna be epic moments and theres gonna be people you can't forget. You're gonna have games played and play games on people, but why not brutal honesty to the point of sheer vulnerability. I've made myself that bleeding heart it doenst end well neither extreme is optimal and the middle isn't right either; its instance by instance case by case. You gotta keep your own guard up, but you gotta be willing to prove your points slowly or emphatically sometimes you just gotta jump gotta blurt gotta spill. It's okay secrets don't make friends and sitting on them can kill you inside. We're bags of secrets fonts of emotion We're all messes and I'm willing to love you anyway.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

So Who Am I

Well this is my first Blog ever, but I'm a big spiller. I'm the guy with his heart on his sleeve. I'm the glue of communities people never see. I've been the one that gets called when lives fall apart, suicides in someones head, a shoulder is needed, a kind word needs to be heard. I'm a walking contradiction We all are don't kid yourself for a second...That'd just be hypocritical, You see. I'm the friend you count on the empathetic fool. I've been the boyfriend, the hookup, the chaser, once or twice the chased, often the fool but for good reason. I'm everything at once.... I'm a jumble a puzzle I'm a person...I'm complicated...I'm simple. The one thing I'm not is a book to be read by its cover.  I'm you in some aspects. Humanity endows us with tangibles; life gives us similarities. You'll never know me unless I let you. A seldom few get me us terrible beautiful disasters are valuable. If any of this makes any sense at all your probably more like me than you think. I'll tell you my stories and my thoughts, my rants, my wishes, my truths and my lies I so wish to believe are truths. I'll share you'll listen and sometimes this will just be for me to logically clarify my thoughts... Compartmentalize and deconstruct this complicated life we're all given and piece together an answer. It may serve as a diary or a marker of times and things I felt or times I fell. If we forget history its doomed to repeat itself the same is true of our own lives. Maybe everything is a cycle... or everything is flux.

" I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time." ~ Forrest Gump